Honks, Hugs, or High Fives – The Struggle is Evident

Humankind. Here’s to hoping we can be both.

One Day.

I’m sure you can imagine the look on people’s faces. They were never quite sure if this was serious or not, it sounded pretty crazy to me too. And that was only when I TOLD people about the mission on World Kindness Day. The looks on faces were classic foreshadowing for the day off too.

I felt right though.

On November 13th, as it has done every single year since 1998, World Kindness Day arrived. News channels all over the world were stoked for the breezy content. They were prepared with ways to help spread kindness and heart-filled stories that pump “feel-good” energy through your veins.

Oxytocin is the comfort chemical and it courses through you at its peak, when we do things for others. The coolest part is the 3rd party element, onlookers who witness acts of kindness get huge doses themselves. This would be the ONLY rubbernecking I’d support.

The original propaganda intent was one sign that read “Hugs or High Fives” and go walk around in public accepting whatever came my way with kindness. The second sign, “Honk for Kindness” admittedly snuck in out of fear at the last minute. It was my way of testing the waters before vulnerably diving deep into the void of our society.

Who am I kidding, this is Lakewood Ranch, FL. It’s certainly not the epicenter of all that is wrong in the world, which was kind of the point. Go spread kindness where they least expect it.

As a single-car family, when my wife had to use the car for work in Ft Myers, my options were limited to sticking around within golf cart range. Again, we have a lot of first-world problems and conveniences around here.

I was SHAKING as I walked out to the golf cart. This was actually going to happen. The first stop was a corner right outside our neighborhood to help break the ice. I threw on Matisyahu’s “One Day” and starting engaging with the traffic. Yep, I was That Guy (once again, iykyk)

The first few cars were quiet.

Inner voice wasn’t.

“You’re an idiot standing on the side of the road with a sign that says ‘Honk for Kindness’, no one understands what this even means. And you look stupid and will definitely cause an accident”

I’m not the kindest to myself, either.
But that’s why we’re all here, no?

When I initially set out on the mission, I “thought” that someone out there really needed a hug and I was certainly going to be there ready for them. I once worked with a lovely soul and friend, Linda Jones. She always would say: “There’s nothing like a good hug, it can mend all your broken pieces back together. “

Side note: working alongside people who are twice your age gives you a LOT of perspective and insight.

Then, in what sounded like a barrage of honks on Calle Ocho after a championship win, it started to click. These signs of affirmation would only appear AFTER they drove by. Who cares. They honked. So much so (hell yeah for kindness!) that a neighbor detoured to pull a U-y and get a good look.

Classic snowbirds.

My thoughts lamented on: “Now someone can get hurt because you’re drawing too much attention.”

I was ready for some up close approaches and I knew just the place.

Everyone has their go-to strip mall. I hit up ours.

The Gateway – to America’s Suburban Frontier -Plaza.

The first thing I realized was my Ted-Lasso-Blue “Believe” shirt was an easy target for MONSTER SIZED PIT STAINS.

Easy fix, don’t hold UP the sign. I felt like Coach Lasso fans would at least see this as an opportunity to take an “us-ie”. Lost cause, move on. I started walking, up and down the main corridor.

Lately, my smile has been my biggest equalizer.

Slap that sucker on and I can usually help with the defaulted responses to a rather forward bald man with beard.

It wasn’t on World Kindness Day.

First full lap, nothing.

Second, nada.

On the third, a high five.

And wait…an on looker.

COME ON OXYTOCIN!! DO YOUR THANG.

Naw. I was passed by but with a “loaded” stare.

There were A LOT of those stares. I’m not sure what they were thinking but I think their faces had a tell. I saw the struggle. Their eyes were accepting but you could sense this pull to want to interact but suddenly stop..

I didn’t keep tally. I’d estimate a third completely ignored me – in that they saw a dude with a sign and found the crap around the ceiling much more interesting. I don’t hold a grudge on anyone for their reaction.

“Is this a joke?” Someone asked.

“Not at all, just looking to spread some kindness today.”

“Oh. It feels like a joke”

Then, on lap 10 – MY PEOPLE ARRIVED.

I can hear “us” talking a mile away. Cubans have a distinct “dialect”. I had picked up on over the last 2 passes. They were on the phone, waiting. A woman and a man.

It was the Woman that did it. Despite the sign certainly not being in her native language and with broken English, SHE bravely asked if I “needed a hug”

And I did.

She hug me hard, man. My dude next to her, he put some SERIOUS love into the dap and hug.

As we spoke to each other in our “mouth full” dialect, they affirmed that the world needs more love.

Their hugs were needed. I felt ok. With a pep in my step.

So I took out the phone and started filming when it happened AGAIN!

A cat I had seen earlier was coming out of the Subway and was signaling me over.

Let the tape speak for itself.

I had enough juice for the long haul. It wouldn’t be another 15 laps before I’d get my next hug. That was when someone flat-out asked.

“Alright man, I gotta ask you…. Where do you go to church?” a Publix team member asked.

“I don’t”, I said, with my smile BEAMING wide and bright-ish.

“What!” He, literally, screamed. “I thought you were one of the brothers, man.”

“Aren’t we still brothers?” I asked

That all depends, according to him. I love that he was surprised though. He kept coming up to me to tell me how weird it was that I was wasn’t religious yet spreading kindness.

We both walked away with a more positive outlook on the world and coming together.

I had to have been another 10 laps before I heard and saw a warm and familiar face. She was here for one reason and that hit me hard. That feeling when you’re in the safety of a friend, where you can just be.

I hadn’t realized how much I was taking in emotionally until my long lost twin sister Sabrina showed up. Both cut from the exact same cloth, she tracked me down and did EXACTLY what I would have done. Come on down for a hug.

Our friends have A REAL ability to help bring us up. They see what happens behind the scenes so they gain a unique insight into our lives. She saw the opportunity to do something free and meaningful for her friend….and seized it.

In retrospect of the day, almost a month later, I’m still stuck on the ones whose facial expressions screamed struggle. I think it’s a fear of being rejected even with a sign that only gave them positive signals. I’m doing this again soon. There is so much more to unpack.

We’re close to bridging the gap. Here’s to HumanKind and to hoping we can be both.